15 Simple Techniques To Improve Communication With Your (Ex)Spouse

The post 15 Simple Techniques To Improve Communication With Your (Ex)Spouse first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post 15 Simple Techniques To Improve Communication With Your (Ex)Spouse appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

Minimizing the turmoil caused by divorce has many benefits. It will (1) shorten the time and expense of your divorce; (2) prevent damage to your mental and physical health; (3) protect your children from emotional suffering and psychological injury; and (4) improve the chances that you and your ex-spouse will be able to work together as parents after the divorce.

Refer to this printer friendly PDF to learn how to minimize this turmoil during this time in your life.

Minimizing Turmoil During Your Divorce

The post Minimizing Turmoil During Your Divorce first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Minimizing Turmoil During Your Divorce appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

1. Preparing secretly. In preparation for a divorce, you will need to gather financial records and take stock of your property. Some people will do so surreptitiously, thinking this will give them an advantage and help maintain control over the process. Instead, the secrecy will damage the trust that exists between you and your spouse, for your advance preparation steps will eventually be revealed.

 2. Failing to discuss the coming divorce. If you are the initiator of the divorce, you should be direct and honest about your plans (unless you have legitimate fear of domestic violence). Instead, some people wait for their negative feelings or actions to be found out. This passive approach usually increases the cost of the divorce, for the non-initiator then feels the need to have all actions and documents examined by an attorney.

3. Making nasty comments. If you have children, your relationship with your spouse will not end after your divorce. It will only take a different form, and cooperation will remain important. Avoiding the adversarial path will pay dividends later.

4. Confessing past sins. Revealing prior mistakes and betrayals (like an affair) may ease your feelings of guilt and help you along the route to forgiving yourself, but will only fuel your spouse’s rage. Carefully consider whether your motivations are selfish before unburdening yourself.

5. Mishandling bank accounts and credit cards. Some spouses take advantage by withdrawing more than their share from a joint bank account and by running up credit card expenses. The better route is to discuss in advance how to separate accounts and handle credit cards. If you think that approach is unwise in your situation, then you could withdraw half of the money from the joint account and use it to open an account in your name.

6. Not freely sharing financial information. Lawyers can obtain financial documents using a variety of methods, but the more you rely on legal counsel to obtain and provide basic financial information the more time consuming and expensive your divorce will be.

7. Hiding income and assets. Most income and assets leave a paper trail, or other evidence of their existence. Private investigators have many methods for uncovering this evidence, and judges will frequently punish the concealer. Don’t do it.

8. Beginning a new relationship too early. Many spouses are surprised by the jealousy their spouses exhibit when a new relationship begins before the divorce is finalized. The surest way to increase the difficulty of your divorce is to get serious with someone else while you are still in negotiations with your spouse.

9. Making the process harder than it needs to be. Being overly aggressive, digging in your heels, acting dishonestly, and failing to trust will delay settlement, and make your divorce more expensive. Do your best to not let your actions be driven by your feelings. If conflict is increasing when it should be decreasing, examine your own actions. Don’t automatically figure the problem is caused by your spouse.

10. Continuing to fight. If you have children, you or your ex can continue to take each other to court while your children are minors to modify support or parenting plans. Continuing your battle after the divorce is final can be devastating financially and emotionally. Avoid it at all costs.

The post 10 Common Mistakes of Divorcing Couples first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post 10 Common Mistakes of Divorcing Couples appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce

The post Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Frequently Asked Questions About Divorce appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

(1) ability of the party seeking alimony to be wholly or partly self-supporting;

(2) time necessary for the party seeking alimony to gain sufficient education or training to enable that party to secure suitable employment;

(3) standard of living that the parties established during their marriage or domestic partnership, but giving consideration to the fact that there will be 2 households to maintain;

(4) duration of the marriage or domestic partnership;

(5) circumstances which contributed to the estrangement of the parties;

(6) age of each party;

(7) physical and mental condition of each party;

(8) ability of the party from whom alimony is sought to meet his or her needs while meeting the needs of the other party; and

(9) financial needs and financial resources of each party.

The post Alimony in DC first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Alimony in DC appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

Legal Capacity

You must possess the legal capacity to enter into a premarital agreement.  This does not mean that if your decision to agree was unwise that you did not have the mental capacity to enter into the agreement.  Legal Capacity speaks more to a mental illness or some type of mental defect or deterioration.  The question of legal capacity asks if the party had the ability to understand the contract or agreement and not necessarily if they actually understood the contract.  Therefor, “I didn’t understand what I was agreeing to” would likely not be a good argument to have a premarital agreement invalidated.  It is important to seek the consultation of an attorney when entering into this type of agreement.

 Voluntarily Enter into the Contract

When entering into a prenuptial agreement, it must be done so voluntarily.  If you are being forced or coerced into entering into the agreement, then the agreement might not be valid.  If, for example, the disadvantaged party to did not get  legal advice or have the opportunity to do so, a court might rule that the agreement was not voluntarily entered into.

Full Financial Disclosure

When entering into a premarital agreement, one must have fully disclosed relevant financial information.  This includes income, assets and debts.  Since the purpose of a premarital agreement is to waive some marital rights, this cannot adequately be done if one is not fully informed of the full financial picture.   However, parties to the agreement can decide to forgo some financial disclosure if this is voluntary and is in writing.

Conscionability

If a court finds that the agreement was unconscionable, it could determine that it is invalid.  An unconscionable agreement is sometimes defined as one that is the result of a grossly unfair process and contains grossly unfair terms.  This yet another reason is it essential to seek legal representation when entering into a premarital agreement.

The post Elements of an Ironclad Premarital Agreement first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Elements of an Ironclad Premarital Agreement appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

Find an attorney who suits your style. 

Whether your goal is to take your spouse for every dollar they have vs. attempting to maintain a respectful relationship post-divorce because of your children, you want to have an attorney who is aligned with your interests.  Avoid attorneys who offer you their advice on how to proceed before even listening to the facts of your case and understanding what your particular goals are.

Start Gathering Your Financial Data

In DC, marital property is distributed equitably.  It is not necessary to know who is going to get what prior to filing for your divorce, but it is a good idea to get ahead of the game by having a broad picture of your financial situation before filing.  This will make it easier for your attorney to give you the best possible advice going forward.

Have a Support System

Divorcing has often been compared to dealing with a death.  It can be one of the most difficult times of your life due to the emotional toll it can take on you and your family.  Speak with friends and family who have been through a divorce already to gain some insight on what you might be about to embark on.  Ask them how they coped and what other advice they might have to share.  Also, if you are able, seek professional help.

Understand the Grounds for Divorce in DC

In DC, a divorce may be granted if both parties have mutually and voluntarily lived separate and apart without cohabitation for a period of 6 months, or if both parties have lived separate and apart without cohabitation for 12 months.  So, if both you and your spouse are not both on board and in agreement with living separate and apart, you must wait the full 1-year time period.  However, this does not mean you need to wait this amount of time before seeking counsel.  Get ahead of the game by speaking with an attorney early.

Know the Difference between an Uncontested and Contested Divorce

If you and your spouse agree to division of the marital property, custody issues and alimony issues, you can file for an uncontested divorce.  If you do not agree on any of these aspects, you will have a contested divorce.  Uncontested divorces can be cheaper, quicker and can help you end your divorce more peacefully.  However, contested divorces are sometimes unavoidable and a skilled attorney is needed to help navigate you through the process.

The post Five Things To Consider Before Divorcing In DC first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Five Things To Consider Before Divorcing In DC appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

In Maryland, the two types of adoptions are agency and independent.  The agency adoption is arranged by a child placement agency.  The independent adoptions are made between the adoptive and birth parents.  There is also a hybrid option of the two called the “designated adoption.”  In this case, the adoptive and birth parents agree to the adoption, and the parties then work with an agency to complete the adoption process.

Public Agency Adoptions: One reason adoptive parents choose to go with a public angary adoption is because they are generally cheaper than going the private route.  For example, some adoptive parents are able to qualify for government subsidies to offset the costs of the adoption process.  The agencies also have a vast knowledge of government resources which may be available to the involved parties.  When using the agency option, birthparents are usually not involved in the process of selecting the adoptive parents.  However, a negative aspect to taking this route include the complexities of working with government agencies.

Private agency adoptions: On advantage of going with a private agency adoption is that the agency can screen the birthmother and give adoptive parents information on her mental and physical health.  The agency can also offer counseling services to the adoptive and birth parents.  It’s important to note that when using the private agency adoption route, both the birth mother and the agency can be selective when choosing the adoptive parents.  This could add time to the process, and it is possible that the child could be placed in a foster home pending the conclusion of the process.

Independent/Private adoptions: Agencies are not involved in private adoptions.  The adoptive parents will usually have direct contact with the birth mother.  If they choose, the adoptive parents and birth mother can form a relationship.  This way, information regarding the health and medical histories of the birth mother can be shared.  Birth mothers usually prefer the private adoption process.  A negative to this type of adoption is that counseling services are usually not a part of the process unless the adoptive mother seeks to have it.

The post Two types of Adoptions in DC and Maryland first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Two types of Adoptions in DC and Maryland appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

Gone are the days when there was a presumption that young children should automatically be in the custody of their mother.  Currently, the presumption is that it is in the best interest of the child for the parents to share joint custody.  Preference should not be given to either the father or the mother when custody decisions need to be made.  The custody decisions must be supported by evidence given at trial or presented by the parties during settlement discussions.  If you are a father and you are fighting for custody and/or visitation of your child, please understand that you have equal rights too.  If you have concerns because the mother of your child is not letting you see or spend time with your child without a court order, please seek the help of a skilled attorney to help.

The post Fathers’ Rights first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Fathers’ Rights appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Navigating through an Uncontested Divorce first appeared on Darwood Law Firm.

The post Navigating through an Uncontested Divorce appeared first on Darwood Law Firm.